The Dot- 01

June 2001

I had my board exams coming up  the following year.  Even at the age of 15, I was given the luxury to sleep until 7AM.  My elder sister was also busy with her board exams and she was forced to wake up 4 AM every morning for study. Now you must understand why I used the term 'luxury'. It gave me more pleasure to know that, I had been offered that extra 3 hours of sleep everyday. I felt like a royal queen. But this record was broken during my mid-term examinations. My dad had asked me to wake up along with my sister so that she will have a company. Right! His intention was not to make me study, but just accompany my sister. I just did this for one day. The next day I was down with cold and did not bother waking up. But I felt sick. I had exams too. My condition did not seem to get any better in the following days. I had cold which was accompanied by severe headache by this time.  I somehow managed to give my exams, but that day was so unusual for me. I still remember it was my Science- I (Physics & Chemistry) exam. I did manage to complete my exam. As every studious girl would do, I also had a discussion with my friends about the questions asked in the exam. I was talking to them as normal I would ever be, but inside, I felt there was something wrong.. majorly! I never said about this to any of my friends. I just came back home walking. I never uttered anything to my parents as well. I told them the story of my cold and headache as a reason to have a short nap. But I felt so tired and exhausted.  Even the slightest noise would annoy me very much. To my bad luck, my neighbour's house had started some carpentry work which left me in an unexplainable situation. I would just cry, cry and sleep.

One thing that gave me confidence was that my dad being a doctor, I knew he would take care of me, no matter what happens.  But to my surprise his painkillers did not work for me. Sadly, the pain got worsened. I had to bunk the next few days of my school due to this unnamed illness. Slowly, I was able to realise I was losing control over my body. I was able to sit on a couch, but found it difficult to lift my leg and lie down. My brother used to help me occasionally, but when my mom sees, he would stop doing it because once he was caught and scolded for this act. My dad, at this stage named this condition as 'lower limb weakness'.  Also, he suspected some kind of issues with the brain and hence he had arranged for a whole body MRI and a CT scan to confirm his diagnosis. The scan report was normal  and hence no confirmation was made. Not very late, my hands also started feeling weak.  Sooner, I also found difficult to eat food.  My mind started searching alternate methods to overcome the difficulties I was facing. That is how I ended up  swallowing mango slices with its skin removed. This is a tricky thought that struck me.  But this made sure my stomach was not empty and also masked my inability to eat. My mom again, put a restriction to this. She said, I was supposed to eat food. I somehow convinced her I would stay on a liquid diet. I was fed with fruit juices. It was fine for me until my lips started  drooping. I was not able to close my mouth, literally! So, I lost the possibility of drinking fruit juices too! 

After losing control of almost every part of my body, I just lied down not capable of doing anything on my own. I had to be in bed all time because, I cannot get up without seeking help. I was embarrassed very much by the fact that, all of a sudden, I have become dependent on my parents and siblings for everything!

I was totally disrupted from the normal way of living. The worst thing was uncertainty. I did not know what was happening to me. My dad did not know what was happening to me as well. But one thing was for sure, something had invaded my life...